PENULTIMATE BREAK THROUGH

Back in college years, I was put in the UK group. It was very competitive to be in that group. It was reserved for students who scored certain points. My Universities group composed of: Cardiff, Belfast and Leicester (there were 4 altogether, I couldn’t recall the other one). In order to get into any one of those Unis, I needed to pass the interview selection. It wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t get any seat out of it. I wasn’t really good in English back then and my anxiety had always been my barrier to communicating with others especially in English.

I was then called for Ireland Unis’ interviews. I declined the interview for IUMC with the intention to get the interview for RCSI. To ensure every student gets uni place, kolej mara banting withdrew the name of students who were already gotten unconditional offer out of any interview from upcoming new interviews. I fancied of going to Royal College as compared to IUMC. In the end, I got none, as my name was not even listed for RCSI interviews…

Then, came the Australian interviews, I had to sit for special admission exam for Monash Unis. I really did enjoy the presentation by the reps. Monash were taking around 30-60 students (I couldn’t really recall). I prepared for the interview. Monash interview was very relaxing but I got nervous anyway plus of course my challenged English. So, I again lost in the competition for the place. The number of students who are boundless shrunk, giving me higher chance of getting a place. University of Western Australia came for their chance to interview students. They were around 15 of us for 5 places. I screwed it up yet again.

My dream was always to be in the UK but from the experiences, evidently, I was too inferior then compared to others. Back home in Terengganu, I spoke more in Malay and even Mandarin than I did in English. I was rather an introvert, who found it hard to mingle with other people. This was clear with the fact that, my previous classmates didn’t really seem to like me back in schools and college. To make it more severe, my discipline was beyond words. I always came late for classes. The class bell was my alarm bell and I only came after recess. I put minimal of effort in any team project which gave them more and more reason to despise me. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn. I kept being myself…

I passed MARA requirement to fly but with no place to go to. My college informed me on my last-bullet chance. Auckland. I was so relieved to know my dream of ever stepping foot outside Malaysia had not vanished yet. It was only vanished when I got into the interviewing room. My anxiety hit me like always. Like other people who anxious, I said laughable and stupid things which I could made out from the awkward face of my lady interviewers.

With that, gone all my hope of ever studying oversea. I was enrolled into IMU after an interview. I got it, because they took every interviewee in. After 2.5 years in IMU, I was matched to Southampton, a pretty prestigious Uni in the UK. And, no interview, though, I knew I would like to have an interview after choosing to use English as my primary language when I enrolled into IMU. I was exempted from taking English class because I scored well in the English papers, I spoke English with everyone including the Malays, I started to write blog and few other things to work out my English. As a remedy to my anxiety problem, I was the President of Hostel Committee, President of Malay Cultural Society. Joined Counseling Club and few other stuff. I was an ‘A’ scorer for foundations, cvs, respi, hemato, endo, etc..

My eyes were off the ball when final was approaching. I did something stupid. Very much stupid. I flunked the papers.. also the resit….

I had to repeat semester 5 in IMU. It made me wonder: was I really that fxck up?

I was possibly the man with the most interviews back in KMB. I got the interviews from all countries offered by my college. When I did get the chance of getting to UK, I screwed up the exam. I got traumatized for the first time in my life. I got all C for my papers. The passing grade in IMU during my time was B.

The extra 5 months spent in IMU was like a brick thrown to my face. Nevertheless, it did make me think. I was a scorer in first few semesters but with only lecture notes as my reference. Skipped some clinical skills classes plus hospital visits. The repeat paper was my very last chance of ever continuing on with medicine. The life as a failure dawned before me.

I knew a girl who taught me the proper way of studying. From here, I started to open books and actively involved in PBL and clinical skill practices. All worked up well. Superb, I would say. I was so confidence during my final that I started to prepare my uk visa and everything else even before gotten the result transcript.

I took my result on Monday, Jan 12. I scored ‘A’ in both OSPE and Problem Case, and ‘A-’ for OSCE, overall was ‘A’. God knows how ecstatic the moment was for me.

I’m now in Nottingham, UK. Best Uni I had ever been matched to. It was a wonder how things unwound. In all my life, it took me only 5 months to turn things around. I also learned a lot from a book written by Rhonda Byrne called ‘The Secret’.

This was written out of boredom, hence the lousy grammar.